Mike and I went to the temple yesterday. He took the day off of work and my sister watched O and we spent the day together. We drove to the temple, did a session and then ate lunch.
This was noting new for us, with the exception we are usually going on a Saturday and we are usually paying a sitter and we are most likely watching the clock. Other than that it was just like normal.
I found myself going with a purpose yesterday. I can’t say that I always go with a purpose, I go because I know that is what I should be doing, but yesterday I went for me. I had a need, and I went with the hopes that that need would be answered.
As we waited the organ music played and I heard the song, ‘I Need Thee Every Hour’. So many times I have sung that song, but this time, as I sung the words in my head, they meant something completely different to me. I realized before even going any further that I needed my Father in Heaven then and there and that was part of my problem. I was trying to “fix” my situation alone and doing that I was going to go no where fast. I realized that if I were to just let Him help me, as hard as it is for me to accept help from anyone, to get the results I am seeking I was going to need help.
We continued on and the most peaceful, calming, assuring feeling came over me. After a week of struggling, suffering, contemplating, crying and all that other good stuff, the answer was simple and easy. It was there all along I just need to find it myself. I needed to realize I was not alone in my quest for the answer. My problem is not fixed or solved the result will be much more easy to handle now that I have come to realize I am not doing it alone and there is someone else helping me with my burden.
How blessed I feel know that I have a Heavenly Father that loves me enough to go through this journey with me.
